Good evening everyone,
Some things have happened in the last couple of days that bring to mind "forgiveness." It doesn't seem like much of a word, does it? It is eleven letters long, and it means a great deal to each of us whether we are doing the forgiving or receiving the forgiving. It is the very first step in healing old wounds. There are times when we might find it difficult to forgive someone for a hurt. Intentional or unintentional we hurt each other. Sometimes physically, but I believe more often mentally or emotionally. I do not speak from experience, but to me it would seem that the physical hurts are easier to get over both physically and emotionally. But when we have been betrayed or lied to or made to feel like we are less, those are the hurts that we find harder to forgive someone for.
I keep listening to one of my favorite people, Louise Hay, and she says that even if we can't forgive, we could be WILLING to forgive. By being willing to forgive, we open up an opportunity for the Universe or God to help us find a way. Isn't that a wonderful way to look at it? I'm not perfect, but for me forgiveness has pretty much been easy, except when it comes to certain family members. I don't know, but it seems with some I have to work really hard to forgive. I have forgiven much over the years, and I have come to realize that some hurts go very deep, so forgiveness for me comes in layers. I forgive and let it go, then down the road somewhere the old hurt raises its nasty head. I say to myself "but you have forgiven that person for this action." Then I realize that the wound is deeper than I thought, so I have to forgive again, and another layer of the hurt is removed. Sometimes I cry again over it all, and I think again what a friend told me about hurts and crying and pain. The wound is where the light enters to heal. So, I let myself cry, and on occasion it is a really broken cry. It sounds like a wounded animal, and I guess the analogy is appropriate, because I am wounded, and when the crying jag is spent, I sleep and wake refreshed.
I have even had to forgive myself for not being able to forgive. I have been working on allowing myself this for years now. I think that this is even harder than forgiving someone else. We tend to forget that we too need forgiveness, and we have to be willing to forgive ourselves as well. We ourselves are worthy of our own forgiveness just as others are. Love, Light, Peace, and Joy!
Good Evening! I hope you are well and adjusted to this Daylight Saving Time thing. I feel like I am FINALLY pretty adjusted to it. I don't see what all the fuss is about this, but we have been doing it for so long, I guess that it just seems natural to many. Not to me, but that is another story. I'm laughing at myself here because I can remember a time when I enjoyed the shift. It seems like everything is shifting, not just the lost hour of sleep but lots of things.
I keep wondering where I'm supposed to go next on this adventure I'm on. I keep seeing posts that seem to be encouraging me to "make that change." But I keep asking myself "Of what change are you speaking?" A change in jobs? I haven't been looking. A change in residence? Well, I am looking, but haven't found much. What kind of change am I supposed to make? I have been working well with my lenten "gift" I hate to call it a sacrifice, of being kinder to others. There are days when it is a challenge, but more often than not, I get what I give. I know I'm supposed to "trust," I guess that's truly what the issue is. I may NOT be trusting completely.
Sometimes it's a scary thing to let go and let God, especially when we don't have a clue as to what we are letting go of and letting God handle. Ah, there it is! It is about complete surrender to the will of God. I still have lots of work to do. One of the things I need to work on is my listening skills. I have been reading others' writings about that "little voice." Is it truly God's voice, or is it my own ego talking? I need to get comfortable with being quiet to let myself hear the voice of God. But, if we are one with God, as the Bible says we are, then maybe I should ask for discernment on what I believe I'm hearing. Here again, God, you must speak more clearly to me, as I can often be obtuse.
Do any of you ever feel like that? That you intuitively KNOW what to do, but wonder if it IS God telling you? I believe that we each need to have a little more confidence in what we hear, me especially. So often taking that proverbial "leap of faith" is a daunting task, but perhaps if we say, "Okay, God, I know you have this, and just step out, we will put into action what we know and believe. I think I'll try it. I hope you will too. Love, Light, Peace, and Joy!
Good Afternoon! It is a good afternoon. Just yesterday I encountered spending a few hours with my mother. She is here in Texas with me, and lives in an assisted living facility. This is a good thing for both her and me. She has her space, and I have mine, and although it may sound unkind, it is better for us both that way. You see we are very much alike, except that in my journey I have been working daily on staying focused on positives, and she hasn't seen her way to look toward the positives. It could be that that IS her journey. Maybe she is my teacher. You know sometimes the lessons are best modeled by what NOT to do. So, I limit my time in her proximity or else I find it almost exhausting to keep deflecting all her negativity. It's not her fault, it's no one's fault. It is just what she knows and is comfortable with.
Which leads me to today's topic. I have found small ways to bring her some joy, or I hope so. One thing I do for her is take to get her a pedicure to take care of her toenails. It is less expensive than taking her to the podiatrist, and she gets a little pampering too. Yesterday was that day. Her memory is fading fast, because I spoke with her earlier in the day and told her that I would be coming by after work to pick her up to get her pedicure and then we would go out to get something to eat. That was earlier in the day, and I should have called her in the afternoon to remind her. When I arrived, she had been sleeping and just wakened. She wasn't ready to go, and I was a bit miffed. Then she had to get her shoes on, then she wanted to brush her teeth, then she had to fold the blanket on her bed, then she, then she, then she. It was already 5:30 and a pedicure takes a bit of time, and the salon closes at 7:00. So, by the time we left it was almost 6:00. We arrived and didn't have to wait too long--a blessing. The pedicure was complete, then I took her to eat. Another ordeal, that did not have to be one. Her vision is not good, but she keeps saying she can't see. So, I went over the menu with her and we made a decision. The food was less than exceptional. It was flat out poor, no flavor and she complained about it. We told our waitress and she got her something else, and that wasn't great either (for her). I had the same thing at the beginning of the meal and it was quite good (to me).
So, I found myself starting to complain too. I'm trying to stay positive and focus on positive things, for what we focus on we attract. So, after I got home, I remembered about "allowance." She has the right to be negative, as much as I have the right to be positive. And even though, I want more for her, I have to allow her to have her journey and not let her journey become mine. I'll play my part in her journey, but it is not mine. I have a different journey. And I can trust that while she is teaching how NOT to be, I might just be modeling for her HOW she CAN turn things around for herself and enjoy all the good things and people she has in her life who truly care about her.
So, I guess this week's blog is about not getting caught up in another's attitude, but ALLOWING them their space and our holding space for them to shift. It's all in perspective. Love, Light, Peace, and Joy!
Good evening. I've been thinking a great deal these past few days about authenticity. What is authenticity? Well, I looked it up. Authenticity is the state of being authentic. Then I remembered how I used to tell my students that they weren't allowed to use the word they were trying to define in the definition, so I looked up authentic. The definition of authentic is 1) undisputed origin or 2) genuine. So, I would say that authenticity is the state of being genuine. Back in the late 70s there was a term "plastic people." Well, we know that plastic is something man made. So, those people would not be real, not to themselves nor to anyone else. So, you could say that I have been thinking about being genuine or more appropriately for me at this time in my life being true to myself, my beliefs, my purpose.
So, with that context laid out, I've been questioning where I am. Truly, I have. Am I on the right path at this moment that serves my ultimate goal, achieving my purpose here on earth. Why am I here? I know I have a mission as part of God's divine plan for me. Am I being true to myself? In some ways yes, in others maybe not. I have to eat and provide shelter and other worldly things for myself. I haven't won the lottery, so I must work. I believe that I have something to contribute to the workplace where I am. But am I being honest with myself about why I'm there? Is it "safe"? Is it in my comfort zone? I would say yes it is, but is there something I'm there to help others learn? Or more importantly, what do I need to learn while I'm there? That's the real question. So, I pray about it, and I meditate on it. Then I tell God, "Okay God, I'm going to leave this one for you. I know that you will find the best solution for this situation that is in the highest and best good for everyone concerned. So, with that I will continue on where I am, until it is time to move.
I will strive to show respect, love, kindness, acceptance, and compassion to my coworkers. Perhaps they will see me as genuine. Someone who is genuinely trying to live as God tells us to live. Maybe I'll be the example that God put in front of them to find Him. To live a life of love for your fellow man, and to accept our differences, because that's what makes us humans so special. We are all so very different, yet we are all the same. We are part and parcel of each other whether we know it or not. It is a realization that the world truly needs. As the song says, "Let peace begin with me, let this be the moment now." What better way to find peace than by being true to yourself and allowing others to be true to themselves. AUTHENTIC!! Love, Light, Peace, and Joy!
Good Evening, a couple of days late. I do apologize for not getting this done on Wednesday. No real excuses, but I was involved at church that evening, and I have been wondering what God would guide me to write about this week. It truly didn't hit me until today.
Being raised a Catholic and attending Catholic school, at least through 8th grade, Lent was always about what we enjoyed that we would give up for 40 days. I used to give up spinach. Not that I enjoyed it, but that it was something I didn't like but had to eat anyway. Typical child logic. So, if I gave it up, that would excuse me from eating it whenever my mother fixed it. Anyway, as we go through our daily routine or routines, there are times when we encounter animosity from others. Sometimes just when we think that things are getting better someone comes along and stirs up the pot and then things are not going so smoothly. Sometimes we become the brunt of another's anger about having no say in how things are done. Suffice it to say, that some people are good with change and others find change almost unbearable. I am the former. Change has truly never bothered me, although as I get older I will admit that while I'm okay with it, making the change takes a little longer than it used to take. Anyway, there's always a time when we get blindsided.
This was part of my week. I'm the new person at work, and I have a very strong personality. Some would say I'm pushy. In any event, my job description is not clearly defined, and often there is not enough work to keep me busy. So, the boss or bosses will sometimes ask me to do things that others are already doing. I don't mind so much, but I guess if I were in my coworkers' place, I would feel the same. My coworkers tend to be a little possessive or protective of the work they do. I might do the same thing. I would like to think that I wouldn't take it out on the person being given direction. But I just might. I think it is easier to take out our hurts on a peer than to let the boss know of our dissatisfaction.
So, with that little bit of information you might be able to see where I'm going with this. I know it is not my coworkers fault, it actually isn't anyone's fault, it is a lack of communication from the top down. When I left work yesterday, I felt pretty upset. I felt pretty upset all day today. I have asked for God and his angels to help me handle this with love and kindness. I'm still upset, so I haven't addressed it yet. But, what I did try to do today was to be kind. For the most part little to no conversation occurred between me and my coworkers. And I did my work, what there was to do, and I kept my mouth shut. I didn't feel welcome at the office today at all. I felt like a pariah. By the end of the day, I was exhausted, drained of energy just from deflecting such hostilities. On my way out, I said, "have a good weekend," and the only person in the area as I left didn't acknowledge my address at all.
So, I would say that I have some work to do. I will be kind, I know to be kind. I also know that I cannot be a doormat either. So, as I close, for Lent this year, I'm going to practice being kind. Maybe I'll even add some of my "voice" to that as well. I must find my voice. I hope you will think about what you can GIVE this Lenten season. Love, Light, Peace, and Joy!
Good Evening friends, Tonight's blog might be a little short, but brevity sometimes is a good thing. I'be been thinking about trust a great deal lately. More specifically, trust in God's divine plans for each of us. I know that God has a plan for me, and I try to let that plan unfold daily. Often, though, I wish and let God know, that I'd like to have a clue sometimes as to why things happen or don't, just so I know I'm heading in the right direction.
I also know that the choices I make impact how that divine plan unfolds. Again, I feel the need to understand what it is I'm supposed to do. I try very hard to make right decisions, to lead with my heart. I think I do a pretty good job with that, but not always. Does anyone else feel like I do? I know I have a purpose, and a little voice in my head tells me I have a purpose, and I think I know what that purpose is, but I'd like to know for certain.
One thing I have always believed is that each of us has within him or herself the power to control their own destiny. God has given each of talents of varying sorts. Within each of us is the ability to manifest all the things that God wants us to have. The relationship we have with God is similar to the relationship we have with our parents or our children. We guide them with love and encouragement to spread their wings and fly. We allow them to make decisions and either reap the rewards or suffer the consequences. Of course, as parents we hate seeing them suffer, but it is often that suffering that helps them to grow strong. I think that God gets a twinge of angst when we do things that cause us pain. I also believe that he rejoices when we grow and good things bring us joy. I'm learning to listen to that little voice. I hope that you will also listen to that little voice in your head and follow God's plans for you. It's that little voice, you know. Love, Light, Peace, and Joy!!
Good evening friends. Today is the day after Valentine's Day. I hope that you had a wonderful day yesterday with your loved ones or special one. I spent a short evening with my mother and grandson eating dinner, which was takeout, but hey, we got to spend some time together. And we had a nice time, although we were short one grandchild. I'm not certain of all what happened but the fact that she was absent was a disappointment. What further put thoughts in my brain was that she is shy and tends not to communicate, which upsets her much older brother. Let's say that he got his "patience" from his grandmother, me.
I'm not certain how that particular virtue escaped me, or so it seems, but for most of my life, patience has been lacking. Oh, I expected others to be patient with me, but when I needed to be patient, well, I rarely was. I can honestly say that I have grown in that respect over the years. Partly, because I have grown older and we tend to be somewhat more patient with others as we require others to be more patient with us. But teenagers or children in general today, have VERY LITTLE patience. They are the immediate gratification generation, and it isn't entirely their fault. It's what they grew up with. Seemingly everything in the blink of an eye. But back to patience.
How do we learn patience you might ask? I think we ask for grace from God to help us with that. Also, and probably more accurately, when we come from a point of love it is easier to do. In my mind it comes down to love. If we can act out of love, then all will be as it should. To me this is the lesson I have been learning over the last few decades. Is everything so critical or urgent that we can't wait for a bit? Look at how we drive these days. It seems as though NASCAR has broken out of the ovals and tri-ovals and hit the highways and byways. Everyone is in such a rush, that we lose our patience when someone takes a little longer than expected to move when the light turns green or causes us to brake when the other driver slows down for a turn. Over the past few weeks I have found myself coaching other drivers from my car, like they can hear me, to "find the long pedal on the right." (Truly that's what I say out loud.) Then I say to myself, why are you in such a hurry, you have plenty of time to get to work or to get wherever I'm headed. Then I myself slow down a bit and take it easier. If someone wants the left lane, I often move over (I tend to drive in the left lane because I drive a little faster than those in the right lane) and let them have it. I'm learning. In my own way I'm sending out love and demonstrating patience to perfect strangers who don't even know they are helping me to learn this.
So, this evening I will say my prayers specifically for my grandson to have some patience with his little sister, and I will pray for my granddaughter to find her voice and confidence, because they are both very loving young people who just need to learn a little patience with each other and that will overflow toward others as well. So, my friends may God give you the grace to be patient when you need it. I believe it is so. Love, Light, Peace, and Joy!
on I've been thinking a great deal about where my focus is these days. It seems to be all over the place. One day I'm focusing on abundance, the next I'm focusing on healing, then I'm focusing on my life's purpose. Heavens, how many things can we focus?
As we are all aware, what we focus on is what we manifest. Maybe that's not how you word it, but it's the same thing. Have you noticed it? How focusing on what you don't want brings you more of what you don't want? It has taken me YEARS to realize this, but truthfully, only the last few. I'm not certain age brings wisdom, but I can attest to this truth, and that is age brings on for many the realization that life is WAY too short to be focusing on all the "unwanted things". I know we learn from those challenges. I am also learning to ask God for the grace to get through whatever lesson it is that I need to learn. Often, I ask for me to learn it quickly; that way I can move on the good stuff on the other side.
I think one of my biggest challenges nowadays is to keep focused on the goal. So, I will ask you what I ask myself-- What is the goal? Have you made plans on how you will reach the goal? Are the steps you have put in place measurable and realistic? Just an example, at my age, for those who don't know, I'm in my 60s; is I would like to be more toned and agile. Is that a measurable goal? Sure it is. I would also like to have the body and muscle tone I had when I was in my 20s and 30s. Is that realistic? No, I can achieve much, but I cannot turn back the clock. So, I have to focus on what I can achieve. For me with this goal, it is to be more toned and more flexible. So, I work out and I do Yoga. However, those aren't my only goals or dreams, if that's what you want to call it.
I would also like to be more fiscally frugal. And I can tell you that God blesses me abundantly with prosperity. I have enough. I am truly grateful for the fact that my bills are paid timely, and I'm whittling things down. I'm not debt free just yet, but that is one thing on which I am focused. I watch what I spend, another achievement for me. I take care of myself to keep me healthy. That also means pampering myself from time to time. So my focus is to be as healthy as I can possibly be.
So, now the trick will be to BALANCE all the different aspects of my life and stay focused on the goals. I guess, balancing is a skill. I must remember to be gentle with myself as I learn this skill. Realistically, you cannot focus on EVERYTHING at the same time, but you can focus on one thing at a time for a period of time, then put that aside to focus on something else. See, I just figured out how to balance while writing to you all.
Stay focused!!! Sending you all Love, Light, Peace, and Joy!!!
These days I find it difficult to find peace. You look at social media or you listen to the news, and the only things you see or hear are people carping about something. I know that change is a tough cookie to swallow sometimes, but folks "things are a changin." I cannot tell the future, so I don't know if the change is going to be good or not so good. I do know that it is change. And personally, finding peace is a true challenge these days.
We have not been nice to one another. Some have drawn the line in the proverbial sand that if you support one or the other then you can't be my friend. It is troublesome. It is worth noting, as well, that change is inevitable. If you are not changing then you are dead, as a friend of mine used to say. When my friend would say this, I used to think, oh Lord, not again. But you know, my friend is correct. If we try to stand still, the world will just move on without us. It does you know, even when I or anyone is experiencing really difficult times or going through significant loss or other tragedies, the world just goes on. The sun will rise the next day, and the moon will follow. The wind will blow, and the oceans will crash upon the shores. It seems that the world is indifferent to all the human suffering. So, I myself am having difficulty dealing with all the hate mongering by my fellow humans. Is having one's way so very important that one would sever friendships over not having it? I used to be like that not all that long ago. Being right was oh so important. But what I have found in recent times, is that being kind is oh so much more important. Kindness begets kindness. Hate begets hate. (If you don't believe me on the latter, just look at social media and the news.) It also seems that the negative stuff seems to flourish much more quickly than the positive stuff. Perhaps the story of Noah and the Ark might be a good example of what I mean. When God told Noah to gather the animals, He told him to gather seven of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate, and two of every kind of unclean animal, a mae and its mate ...(Gen. Chapter 7:3, Concordia Self-Study Bible). I guess God knew how His creations would reproduce, so He made certain to even the odds so that both clean and unclean would proliferate. But is seems an apt analogy for how much more quickly hate spreads or bad news or rumors than good news or positive things. Like you I can't control those things, I can only control what I myself do.
In fact, I can't control very much, and I'm learning NOT to control very much. I'm learning to trust in God that all will work out. I'm learning to believe that no matter the chaos around me, I CAN be at peace within. I'm not saying it's easy to get there, but I'm learning that I can be at peace when things seem to be falling apart. There is a power much greater than I, and while I am part of that power, I am not the generator of that power. I have been practicing keeping peace. Peace about others rights to speak out, and peace about my own counsel to be quiet. This place is where I share my thoughts with you. I don't worry about being judged, because I don't judge. I find peace in my heart, that whatever is in my highest and best good will prevail. I find peace in knowing that God protects me and no harm can come to me because I trust in Him. I hope that you too can find that for yourself. It is a powerful thing finding peace within.
Sending you all Love, Light, Peace, and Joy!!
Good Evening, I apologize for being late in this week's posting, and well last week's too. Even though I am learning how to post on a web site, I must say that it feels good to be doing something productive. Have you ever had those types of days? You know what I'm talking about. One day you're working and the day just drags on, then the next day you get really busy and it literally flies by and you barely finish the work.
Which would you prefer? Isn't life like that? Feast or famine. How do we find balance in our lives? It's truly an art, or at least that's what I think. As I'm walking down my path to enlightenment, I have days when it seems to come together, and others when I barely keep my sanity. Duality -- where we live! A world of opposites. I believe Morrie Schwartz said that to his student/friend Mitch Albom in Tuesdays with Morrie. How do we find balance?
We have many hats that we wear. I myself find this juggling act difficult. I either do all of one or all of the other. Then when it I am so overwhelmed, I must take a much needed break. It is important for all of us to find some time each and every day to "vacate" the routine. I'll have to remember to do that when the work day gets hectic. On the other side, I also have to remember to not "vacate" overly long so I can do the other work that needs to be done.
So, to all you out there who are balancing lots, remember to take time out for you. You are important, and balance is what it is all about. Sending you Love, Light, Peace, and Joy!
I'm just an ordinary person on my path to enlightenment. I enjoy learning, and lately I'm learning how to enjoy the challenges that present themselves as opportunities for me to grow. I hope that you find encouragement and inspiration through this blog.