Good evening everyone,
Some things have happened in the last couple of days that bring to mind "forgiveness." It doesn't seem like much of a word, does it? It is eleven letters long, and it means a great deal to each of us whether we are doing the forgiving or receiving the forgiving. It is the very first step in healing old wounds. There are times when we might find it difficult to forgive someone for a hurt. Intentional or unintentional we hurt each other. Sometimes physically, but I believe more often mentally or emotionally. I do not speak from experience, but to me it would seem that the physical hurts are easier to get over both physically and emotionally. But when we have been betrayed or lied to or made to feel like we are less, those are the hurts that we find harder to forgive someone for.
I keep listening to one of my favorite people, Louise Hay, and she says that even if we can't forgive, we could be WILLING to forgive. By being willing to forgive, we open up an opportunity for the Universe or God to help us find a way. Isn't that a wonderful way to look at it? I'm not perfect, but for me forgiveness has pretty much been easy, except when it comes to certain family members. I don't know, but it seems with some I have to work really hard to forgive. I have forgiven much over the years, and I have come to realize that some hurts go very deep, so forgiveness for me comes in layers. I forgive and let it go, then down the road somewhere the old hurt raises its nasty head. I say to myself "but you have forgiven that person for this action." Then I realize that the wound is deeper than I thought, so I have to forgive again, and another layer of the hurt is removed. Sometimes I cry again over it all, and I think again what a friend told me about hurts and crying and pain. The wound is where the light enters to heal. So, I let myself cry, and on occasion it is a really broken cry. It sounds like a wounded animal, and I guess the analogy is appropriate, because I am wounded, and when the crying jag is spent, I sleep and wake refreshed.
I have even had to forgive myself for not being able to forgive. I have been working on allowing myself this for years now. I think that this is even harder than forgiving someone else. We tend to forget that we too need forgiveness, and we have to be willing to forgive ourselves as well. We ourselves are worthy of our own forgiveness just as others are. Love, Light, Peace, and Joy!
Good Evening! I hope you are well and adjusted to this Daylight Saving Time thing. I feel like I am FINALLY pretty adjusted to it. I don't see what all the fuss is about this, but we have been doing it for so long, I guess that it just seems natural to many. Not to me, but that is another story. I'm laughing at myself here because I can remember a time when I enjoyed the shift. It seems like everything is shifting, not just the lost hour of sleep but lots of things.
I keep wondering where I'm supposed to go next on this adventure I'm on. I keep seeing posts that seem to be encouraging me to "make that change." But I keep asking myself "Of what change are you speaking?" A change in jobs? I haven't been looking. A change in residence? Well, I am looking, but haven't found much. What kind of change am I supposed to make? I have been working well with my lenten "gift" I hate to call it a sacrifice, of being kinder to others. There are days when it is a challenge, but more often than not, I get what I give. I know I'm supposed to "trust," I guess that's truly what the issue is. I may NOT be trusting completely.
Sometimes it's a scary thing to let go and let God, especially when we don't have a clue as to what we are letting go of and letting God handle. Ah, there it is! It is about complete surrender to the will of God. I still have lots of work to do. One of the things I need to work on is my listening skills. I have been reading others' writings about that "little voice." Is it truly God's voice, or is it my own ego talking? I need to get comfortable with being quiet to let myself hear the voice of God. But, if we are one with God, as the Bible says we are, then maybe I should ask for discernment on what I believe I'm hearing. Here again, God, you must speak more clearly to me, as I can often be obtuse.
Do any of you ever feel like that? That you intuitively KNOW what to do, but wonder if it IS God telling you? I believe that we each need to have a little more confidence in what we hear, me especially. So often taking that proverbial "leap of faith" is a daunting task, but perhaps if we say, "Okay, God, I know you have this, and just step out, we will put into action what we know and believe. I think I'll try it. I hope you will too. Love, Light, Peace, and Joy!
Good Afternoon! It is a good afternoon. Just yesterday I encountered spending a few hours with my mother. She is here in Texas with me, and lives in an assisted living facility. This is a good thing for both her and me. She has her space, and I have mine, and although it may sound unkind, it is better for us both that way. You see we are very much alike, except that in my journey I have been working daily on staying focused on positives, and she hasn't seen her way to look toward the positives. It could be that that IS her journey. Maybe she is my teacher. You know sometimes the lessons are best modeled by what NOT to do. So, I limit my time in her proximity or else I find it almost exhausting to keep deflecting all her negativity. It's not her fault, it's no one's fault. It is just what she knows and is comfortable with.
Which leads me to today's topic. I have found small ways to bring her some joy, or I hope so. One thing I do for her is take to get her a pedicure to take care of her toenails. It is less expensive than taking her to the podiatrist, and she gets a little pampering too. Yesterday was that day. Her memory is fading fast, because I spoke with her earlier in the day and told her that I would be coming by after work to pick her up to get her pedicure and then we would go out to get something to eat. That was earlier in the day, and I should have called her in the afternoon to remind her. When I arrived, she had been sleeping and just wakened. She wasn't ready to go, and I was a bit miffed. Then she had to get her shoes on, then she wanted to brush her teeth, then she had to fold the blanket on her bed, then she, then she, then she. It was already 5:30 and a pedicure takes a bit of time, and the salon closes at 7:00. So, by the time we left it was almost 6:00. We arrived and didn't have to wait too long--a blessing. The pedicure was complete, then I took her to eat. Another ordeal, that did not have to be one. Her vision is not good, but she keeps saying she can't see. So, I went over the menu with her and we made a decision. The food was less than exceptional. It was flat out poor, no flavor and she complained about it. We told our waitress and she got her something else, and that wasn't great either (for her). I had the same thing at the beginning of the meal and it was quite good (to me).
So, I found myself starting to complain too. I'm trying to stay positive and focus on positive things, for what we focus on we attract. So, after I got home, I remembered about "allowance." She has the right to be negative, as much as I have the right to be positive. And even though, I want more for her, I have to allow her to have her journey and not let her journey become mine. I'll play my part in her journey, but it is not mine. I have a different journey. And I can trust that while she is teaching how NOT to be, I might just be modeling for her HOW she CAN turn things around for herself and enjoy all the good things and people she has in her life who truly care about her.
So, I guess this week's blog is about not getting caught up in another's attitude, but ALLOWING them their space and our holding space for them to shift. It's all in perspective. Love, Light, Peace, and Joy!
Good evening. I've been thinking a great deal these past few days about authenticity. What is authenticity? Well, I looked it up. Authenticity is the state of being authentic. Then I remembered how I used to tell my students that they weren't allowed to use the word they were trying to define in the definition, so I looked up authentic. The definition of authentic is 1) undisputed origin or 2) genuine. So, I would say that authenticity is the state of being genuine. Back in the late 70s there was a term "plastic people." Well, we know that plastic is something man made. So, those people would not be real, not to themselves nor to anyone else. So, you could say that I have been thinking about being genuine or more appropriately for me at this time in my life being true to myself, my beliefs, my purpose.
So, with that context laid out, I've been questioning where I am. Truly, I have. Am I on the right path at this moment that serves my ultimate goal, achieving my purpose here on earth. Why am I here? I know I have a mission as part of God's divine plan for me. Am I being true to myself? In some ways yes, in others maybe not. I have to eat and provide shelter and other worldly things for myself. I haven't won the lottery, so I must work. I believe that I have something to contribute to the workplace where I am. But am I being honest with myself about why I'm there? Is it "safe"? Is it in my comfort zone? I would say yes it is, but is there something I'm there to help others learn? Or more importantly, what do I need to learn while I'm there? That's the real question. So, I pray about it, and I meditate on it. Then I tell God, "Okay God, I'm going to leave this one for you. I know that you will find the best solution for this situation that is in the highest and best good for everyone concerned. So, with that I will continue on where I am, until it is time to move.
I will strive to show respect, love, kindness, acceptance, and compassion to my coworkers. Perhaps they will see me as genuine. Someone who is genuinely trying to live as God tells us to live. Maybe I'll be the example that God put in front of them to find Him. To live a life of love for your fellow man, and to accept our differences, because that's what makes us humans so special. We are all so very different, yet we are all the same. We are part and parcel of each other whether we know it or not. It is a realization that the world truly needs. As the song says, "Let peace begin with me, let this be the moment now." What better way to find peace than by being true to yourself and allowing others to be true to themselves. AUTHENTIC!! Love, Light, Peace, and Joy!
Good Evening, a couple of days late. I do apologize for not getting this done on Wednesday. No real excuses, but I was involved at church that evening, and I have been wondering what God would guide me to write about this week. It truly didn't hit me until today.
Being raised a Catholic and attending Catholic school, at least through 8th grade, Lent was always about what we enjoyed that we would give up for 40 days. I used to give up spinach. Not that I enjoyed it, but that it was something I didn't like but had to eat anyway. Typical child logic. So, if I gave it up, that would excuse me from eating it whenever my mother fixed it. Anyway, as we go through our daily routine or routines, there are times when we encounter animosity from others. Sometimes just when we think that things are getting better someone comes along and stirs up the pot and then things are not going so smoothly. Sometimes we become the brunt of another's anger about having no say in how things are done. Suffice it to say, that some people are good with change and others find change almost unbearable. I am the former. Change has truly never bothered me, although as I get older I will admit that while I'm okay with it, making the change takes a little longer than it used to take. Anyway, there's always a time when we get blindsided.
This was part of my week. I'm the new person at work, and I have a very strong personality. Some would say I'm pushy. In any event, my job description is not clearly defined, and often there is not enough work to keep me busy. So, the boss or bosses will sometimes ask me to do things that others are already doing. I don't mind so much, but I guess if I were in my coworkers' place, I would feel the same. My coworkers tend to be a little possessive or protective of the work they do. I might do the same thing. I would like to think that I wouldn't take it out on the person being given direction. But I just might. I think it is easier to take out our hurts on a peer than to let the boss know of our dissatisfaction.
So, with that little bit of information you might be able to see where I'm going with this. I know it is not my coworkers fault, it actually isn't anyone's fault, it is a lack of communication from the top down. When I left work yesterday, I felt pretty upset. I felt pretty upset all day today. I have asked for God and his angels to help me handle this with love and kindness. I'm still upset, so I haven't addressed it yet. But, what I did try to do today was to be kind. For the most part little to no conversation occurred between me and my coworkers. And I did my work, what there was to do, and I kept my mouth shut. I didn't feel welcome at the office today at all. I felt like a pariah. By the end of the day, I was exhausted, drained of energy just from deflecting such hostilities. On my way out, I said, "have a good weekend," and the only person in the area as I left didn't acknowledge my address at all.
So, I would say that I have some work to do. I will be kind, I know to be kind. I also know that I cannot be a doormat either. So, as I close, for Lent this year, I'm going to practice being kind. Maybe I'll even add some of my "voice" to that as well. I must find my voice. I hope you will think about what you can GIVE this Lenten season. Love, Light, Peace, and Joy!
I'm just an ordinary person on my path to enlightenment. I enjoy learning, and lately I'm learning how to enjoy the challenges that present themselves as opportunities for me to grow. I hope that you find encouragement and inspiration through this blog.